Avoid Envy

The pursuit of happiness has its ups and downs. There are the ups - you have a great day at work, get promoted, get married, have a child, and each of those in isolation make you extremely happy. There are the downs - you have a bad day at work, go through a breakup, lose a loved one, and each of those in isolation will make you unhappy. But through it all, if there is one quality that will amplify the highs and lows, it is envy. So avoid it at all costs

When I was graduating from university, I failed to secure a job at a top accounting firm to achieve my goal of becoming a Chartered Accountant. I was envious. Of all my classmates who secured jobs, who went on to become CAs, and who seemingly had climbed the next step in the ladder of life. 

When I was in my 20s, I was a serial first dater. But at some point, I got sick of it. That some point often came when I was envious. Of my friends who had secure relationships. Who moved in with their partners.  Who went on to get married.

When I was working at a Big 4 firm, I was overworked and underpaid. Envy hit me hard, especially when I’d see my friends working those same hours but getting paid for it. Fast forward a few years, I was in their shoes. I got a job at a top Wall Street bank. Now I was well compensated but still overworked. Yet, the underlying envy never went away. The target just changed. Now I started finding friends who seemed to be making good money and not working as much. The hedonic treadmill - the idea that no matter how much our circumstances improve, we quickly adapt and crave the next level - continued 

And it made me step back and think - our quality of life has changed dramatically over the years, yet we are seemingly less happy. Why is that? I think it can be distilled down to the fact that true happiness is often the difference between your quality of life and envy. If envy is greater than your quality of life, it’s like filling a leaky bucket - no matter how much you pour in, it will never be enough. Avoid envy, and happiness might just catch up to you.